Soul atrophy

Explicating our lived practices relied on the method of capturing photographs of everyday moments of practice. For many of the individuals in the inquiry, this was the first time they were sharing their stories – and for some, the first time they had reflected on the stories to ascertain how their own practices expressed their Métisness. In seeing and feeling this, I began thinking about how putting down our stories has the potential to place us in arrhythmia, in soul atrophy. Soul atrophy is a suitable phrase as it suggests a lack of nourishment, or lack of sustenance to ensure generation of the entity (Oxford University Press 2020). It is also akin to having an imbalance as we are out of sync with the natural rhythms of life, of who we are (Absolon, 2019). If stories are all we are (King, 2003), then who are we without our stories? Practicing and telling our stories is the nourishment we need to generate our identity, to become Métis. Soul atrophy – and how I understand this from our research collective – is living our lives in ways that do not align or foster our inherent self and, ultimately, hinders our capacity to manifest the greatest expression of who we are meant to be. Soul atrophy, living our lives in arrhythmia, causes trauma when you are forced to relinquish who you are, to try to live a life that and does not align with your life force (Burley, 2013; Duran, 2006). Coming into the circle was felt like electric revelations as they came into rhythm with their truest self.

One of my Métis kin, Charmaine, stated during one of our last gatherings, “It’s been very spiritual. Seeing everyone’s pictures, I can relate, I am enough that way, hearing everyone’s stories solidifies that. I’m open to myself, being okay with the past and family, using the city to reconnect, it’s not where you are but about spirituality. It’s been very spiritual for me in all of this, talking with everyone, I’m open to myself, be okay, felt ashamed before”.  This work did not intend to focus on the healing of trauma through sharing of our practices but in the telling of our stories healing occurred. Importantly, as articulated previously, because the smudge requires of us to be truthful, which enacts omanii -- “real spirit talk” and aachimooshtowihk — sharing our truth, we are connecting to our spirit and expressing what needs to be said is healing. Picking up our stories is healing, the telling of our stories, seeing and honouring the Métisness in our every day practices is an effort for rhythm. Contexts are needed, where it is safe to be ourselves, to explore and have dialogue of becoming Métis, to pick up our stories, and come into relationship with ourselves, our kin, our ancestors – miyo pimatisiwin – live a good life.